FAT MIKE Home Street Home: Original Songs From The Shit Musical LYRICS
album: "Home Street Home: Original Songs From The Shit Musical" (2015)
Monsters
there’s no monsters in the closet that’s what mother said
there’s no boogie man or zombies underneath my bed
when there’s scratches on the window she said it’s only branches in the breeze
there’s no freddy kreuger, blair witch, there’s no chucky doll
they’re just characters in movies, they’re not real at all
how’s it possibly my mother never realized that monsters do exist?
these nightmares aren’t nightmares and i can’t reveal
the monster i see ever night is very real
when i hear that demon voice i stop breathing and i freeze
if i’m to stop that germ from spreading, i must kill the disease
oh father in heaven please protect me
hello kitten don’t be scared it’s only daddy
i can’t live through this again
i just came to tuck you in
but i just wanna go to sleep, i pray to god my soul to keep
don’t you wanna give a goodnight kiss to daddy?
don’t you wanna give a goodnight kiss to daddy?
god give me strength
god take away my fears
if you’re really out there
send me a sign!
this is the last time i’ll ever ask you for anything
this is the last time i will pretend nothing is happening
alone, tell me that i’m not alone
tell me my heart can be salvaged
tell me my soul can be saved
my fault, tell me this is not my fault
tell me why do i deserve this life?
my brushes, some paint
i’ll need me razor blades and a warm jacket
and i’m taking this gun
there’s nothin’ in this world to justify him
if i am to survive i must defy him
i’m leaving this behind
i’ll go so far away he’ll never find me
i know that i’m making that the last time
********************************************
Three String Guitar
i got two arthritic legs
i got five tuning pegs
i’ve got a bike that chain that i turned into a strap
i can’t remember the songs that i wrote last week
yeah i’ve got that
i got thirty seven notes
and hundreds of used up famous quotes
and cliches on the wall
my songs are like trees in the forest
no one hears them fall
there are so many things
i can do with just three strings
still nothing gets dropped into the hat
i don’t steal melodies
and sometimes just change keys
song masturbation, yeah i’ve got that
but all i need is two
to write better songs than you
********************************************
Urban Campers
this is our home out on the street
we are the god of punk elite
could you spare some thing vegan to eat?
we need crown molding for our squat
i need a new anchor for my yacht
would somebody like to buy me an imported beer and a shot
we’re not homeless we just don’t have homes
urban campers in commercial zones
and when it gets too cold we squat
we take our clothes off when it’s hot
but we usually just hang out in this spot
on the corner of any street and me
i won’t work for food, but i’ll fuck for pay
all space for pure and dma
do you have an extra smoke and hey
what the fuck are you lookin’ at?
how ‘bout we don’t get into a fight
well i could really use a cigarette and a light
we don’t want pity or respect
we won’t cash or a check
we’re not homeless we just don’t have homes
urban campers in commercial zones
and when it rains we shout and dance
we sew patches onto our pants
but we usually just hang out in this stance
on the corner of any street and me
********************************************
Fecal Alcohol Syndrome
i have a hard time talkin’ sentences
my mind’s on constant roam
that’s because my mother drunk while i was in her womb
not i got diagnosed with fecal alcohol syndrome
my mother gave me shit for brains and fucked up chromosomes
his mother gave him shit for brains and fucked up chromosomes
now all i hear from people is that i’m not very smart
the vodka didn't affect my kidneys, liver, or my heart
it seeped through the umbilical and crossed every membrane
she stayed drunk so i'm a punk with a retarded brain
she stayed drunk so he's a punk with a retarded brain
she started with mimosas and finished with merlot
the wine turned into whiskey to cigarettes to pot
and then she moved to opiates then methamphetamine
ooh she stayed wasted i got stuck with a sub average brain
she got wasted he got stuck with a sub average brain
my favorite baby bottle was kahlua and breast milk
but when i turned to toddler she gave me gin and juice
now i can mix my own drinks zambuca and champagne
i was a newborn alcoholic with a fermented brain
a newborn alcoholic with a fermented brain
it was a fecal alcoholocaust
and i would have done the same
it was a fecal alcoholocaust
and he would have done the same
yeah ... alright
yo seriously lets go to the bar, its down this way man
********************************************
Three Against Me
bloody nose, like people stub toes
got a fat lip every other week
learned to breath through the wrong end of a sleeping bag
learned to read the bible superglued to my hand
it's not called abuse
it's called sibling rivalry
and it's always three against me
three against me
no one calls it hate when it's your brothers
it's called tough love and accepted by the neighbors
it's not called a hate crime, it's just what my brothers did to pass the time
one hundred fist salute saturday morning
a steel toe to the shin saturday night
mustard up the nose while i was sleeping
wake up with tobasco in my eye
it's not called abuse
it's called sibling rivalry
and it's always three against me
three against me
no one calls it hate when it's your brothers
closed door and a blind eye by my parents
it's not called a hate crime, it's just what my brothers did to kill
when i found a train ticket next om the bed
next to a note that read
if i had any respect
i wouldn't think about visiting, writing or calling
in fact any communication would be deleted or hung up
all letters would be torn
who would correspond with someone who was never born?
********************************************
High Achievers
heroin has stigma like meth and crack cocaine
drug users aren't all losers, they can't all be insane
but sanity is not a trait of extraordinary man
sometimes it's drugs not necessity that's the mother of invention
ben franklin smoked opium when he held that lightning rod
so did queen victoria and the marquis de sade
siegmund freud did his best work on coca medicine
so did grover cleveland and thomas edison
would einstein have split the atom?
would carl sagen have pondered space?
when the smartest people are doin' drugs it makes the world a much better place
steve jobs and bill gates took acid and changed technology
the beatles' trips led to lucy, rita, and elanor rigby
and all the absynth that van goh drank made made a much starier night
without drugs would munch's scream have really been such a fight? (that's not so scary)
would bonds have hit those hundreds of homers?
would lance have ever won in france?
when a record's breaking, an athlete's takin'
a drug to keep performance enhanced
so you guys are trying to tell me that if i take drugs i'm gonna be smarter?
we're not saying it's gonna make you smarter, but it might make you more interesting
aaron sorkin wrote his best while he was smokin' crack
amphetamines were the favorite means of ayn rand and kerouac
charlie dickens told the tale on opiates we know
so did burrows, huxley, oscar wilde, and edgar allen poe
if everyone was sober, could you call this country free?
would we maintain our ethics and ingenuity?
progressive thought doesn't happen a lot in a dry society
when everyone is doin' some it makes the world a better place to be
so smoke a joint, or snort a line, or drop some lsd
use a bong, a glass pipe, or go strait to an i.v.
it's a simple case of better living in modern chemistry
when everybody is doin' drugs it makes the world a better place to be
when everybody is doin' drugs it makes the world a better place to be
so quit na, and screw aa, and fuck sobriety
when everybody is doin' drugs it makes the world a better place to be
********************************************
Gutter Tarts
i don't care about how many fucks
i'll suck an ass for fifty bucks
everybody here wants to get laid
we're the only ones who are getting paid
i'm getting fucked
i'm sucking cock
and getting paid
i'm lickin' nuts
i'm spankin' butts
and getting paid
we're being lude
and getting nude
and being screwed
and blowin' dudes
and getting paid
i'm doin' what i've always done for free
i'm doin' what comes so naturally
i'm not sellin' my body i'm renting parts
we're sidewalk sluts, we're gutter tarts
i'm tea bagin'
i'm playin' the rusty trombone
i'm getting felt
i'm tossing salads overgrown
we're being lude
and getting nude
and gettin' screwed
and blowin' dudes
and scorin' drugs
********************************************
Bad Decision
when you're drunk and shooting junk you're probably gonna make a bad decision
when you're sick and feeling like a lunatic you may lose your volition
when you don't have sense of consequence from your hopped up condition
you are bound to make a bad decision
********************************************
Missing Child
if you see my daughter
tell her to call home
she's only sixteen
and never been on her own
if you see this beautiful girl
tell her to call her mom
my little girl is gone
my little girl is gone
did i protect her
did i do all i could?
is she gone forever
like her childhood?
if you see my baby
tell her to call her mom
my little girl is gone
my little girl is gone
********************************************
I'm Suicide
i was a target and easy mark
i was the victim of an asshole patriarch
not just your standard dichotomy
i was a virgin without virginity
i used to genuflect, i used to pray
but it was useless i was such an easy prey
under sedation at beckon call
i was a teenage blow up love doll
without an option, without free will
i was eleven when i got put on the pill
a well used fixture, a welcome mat
a lonely joy division laying on my back
always a good girl, always obeyed
i was a prostitute who wasn't getting paid
our perfect little girl, we're both so proud of you
you do everything that you're told, you speak when spoken to
you make me so ashamed, you've always been a flirt
you don't think of anyone else, you don't care who you hurt
my little girl gives daddy so much pride
i'm suicide
i've just been resurrected
i'm jesus christ and i've bled for all my sins
i save myself from definite destruction
i'm here and i will decide
my life as suicide
our perfect little girl
how could you do that to me?
you do everything that you're told
six years of sodomy
you make me so ashamed
you're the one who should have gone
i gave the best years of my life to you
you left me all alone
my little girl gives daddy so much pride
i'm suicide
god's illegitimate daughter
i'm stigmata and i've bled for all your sins
i save myself from a life of a martyr
i'm here and i will not abide
my life, i'm suicide
she's suicide
that names a little creepy
she's suicide
welcome to our tribe
she's suicide
does she really belong here?
i'm suicide for life
my life is suicide
********************************************
Let's Get Hurt
i wanna be hugged by you by you
i wanna be drugged by you
ooh when you glare and pull my hair i feel so loved by you
i wanna be plugged by you by you
i wanna be slugged by you
i wanna be mugged and drugged and plugged and slugged by only you
i wanna be hugged and drugged and plugged by only you
i wanna be trained by you by you
i wanna be caned by you
i want my body to be bruised and used by only you
i wanna be pained by you by you
and crack cocained by you
i wanna be brained and caned and drained harshly profaned by you
i wanna be chained tightly restrained and crack cocained
i'm gonna make you my bitch
i'm gonna treat you like dirt
you're gonna be bought and sold
you're gonna be used and hurt
you're gonna learn to obey
you're gonna be black and blued
i'm gonna be loved by you
by you
worshiped by you
i wanna be stroked by you by you
i wanna be choked by you
ooh with my hands around your neck your face turns sexy blue
i wanna be poked by you by you
and heroin smoked by you
you're gonna get stroked and choked and coked maybe piss soaked by you
i wanna be choked and poked and stroked i wanna get hurt
you're gonna get hurt
********************************************
Safe Words
asparagus
sacramento
kung fu
Sondheim
you need a safe word 'cause you never know when
someone might do things that you're not ok with
a signal's needed to define your limit
get out of almost any situation
gorilla biscuits
sarah palin
rooney
grandpa
you've gotta get yourself a word to use when
you don't think you can take the pain anymore
or you're freaked out because you're suffocating
or when you really need to use the bathroom
now sue, what do you say when someone's doing something to you that you don't want them to?
don't stop please
please don't stop
no more
no ... more
get off of me
get off in me
you see sue, a lot of words can have different meanings in different situations
you need to choose a word that won't be mistaken for something else
pearl necklace?
that's when a guy cums on your neck
chili dog?
that's when you take a shit on a girl's chest
and then titty fuck her
tea bag?
nut sac
snowball?
snowball ... s n o w b a l l
a snowball is when someone blows a load into your mouth
but you don't swallow it, instead you share the cum with another person
by spitting it into their mouth
... snowball
we're gonna help you find a word that you want
forget when you are getting violated
a word that doesn't have another meaning
or any sexual interpretation
al al zeto
the jeffersons?
fluffer
gerbil
ok ... gerbil's your word
********************************************
Another Bad Decision
when jealous and enmity eats empathy you might find aggravation
morphs into insanity which leads to vengeance and retaliation
when you're drinkin' jack and bangin' smack you have feud and derision
you're probably going to make a bad decision
********************************************
Seeping Beauty (Reprise)
this gun
my father's intimidation
a small man's erection
i hate this gun
my razor blade
so perfectly made
i love my razor blade
and while everybody sleeps
my body slowly seeps
my body slowly seeps
your blood runs free
it lets me see your body differently
your precious blood
it drips like rain
a warm and perfect pain that gives release
and inner peace
and while everybody sleeps
my body slowly seeps
my body slowly seeps
********************************************
Bearly Legal
why are you being nice to me?
that's not like you at all
because i've really missed your friendship
and your high cholesterol
i've always wanted to be with you
but i'm boring and obese
you've got a purple mohawk
and i wear a hair piece
so what if i'm more fun than you
and don't forget i'm fuckin' cute
do you think that you can deal with my ill repute?
your reputation doesn't bother me
it tickles and offends
that's why i wanna introduce you to my parents and my friends
you would you do that with me
i would do that with you
there's so many things i'll introduce you to
i think i wanna be with someone just like you
i can start exercising every day
get muscular and lean
that's silly i'll just take diet pills
and methamphetamine
i don't want you to change for me
your rolls and body hair
i'm starting to let me see you
like a human teddy bear
maybe i could learn to like drug use and punk rock
maybe i could learn to like your small uncircumcised cock
if my size is a problem
i'm sure it won't persist
i'll just have to satisfy you
with some ky and my fist
you would you do that with me
i will do that with you
i wanna be with someone just like you
i wanna be with someone just like you
********************************************
Because I Want To
some brushes
some paint
she's using a palate instead of razors
she's coloring outside the lines
and living life even further beyond them
like they were never there
today i think i'll deface a street sign
turn one way into three way
and do not enter to do not whine
those signs are the rules for the street
but the rules in my life have turned into suggestion
others are completely obsolete
i'm gonna snort white shit right up my nose
i'm gonna get tied up with pantyhose
i'm gonna wear torn inappropriate clothes
because i want to
i'm gonna suck a clit
i'm gonna make a fist
i'm gonna be a polyamorist
i'm gonna check everything off my list
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
nothing's too taboo
i get use when and how i like
i took control of my soul outright
i'll be a sadomasochistic dyke
because i wanna be
i'm gonna kick a hole
i'm gonna break a glass
i'm gonna fuck the world and kick its ass
i'm livin' in the moment not the past
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
nothing's too taboo
life's not fair
i'm glad it's not
you gotta play the hand
you gotta change the plot
remember your life has no blood
there's always a second shot
sometimes you gotta metamorphosize
life's too short for fights
and petty arguments
when there's so many delights
i can't forget that just a few months ago
i didn't know if i would see a tomorrow
i didn't know
but i know one thing that's true
there's no reason that three can't be better than two
so i'm gonna make things right between us
not because mom told me what to do
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
because i want to
there's nothing i can do
because i want to
trashley, is that you?
no susan, it's daddy
you're coming with me
********************************************
Life... Oh What A Drag
life... oh what a drag
why's it always us left holding the bag?
iconoclast, just trying to live
cements are cast as fugitive
this sign
so no one will learn
light the match and watch the kerosine burn
they'll say a crackhead set the fire
no one will know it was really a funeral pyre
everything we've built is gonna be gone
how will we be able to move on?
because we know this is just a space
our family will survive in any place
burn hotter cremate
we've gotta destroy so we can create
a new life far away from here
let's cover our tracks and disappear
********************************************
The Agony Of Victory
Come on underachievers
Come on all you underpass believers
We’ll give you the skill for street livin’
It feels pretty great to just give in,
so just give in
Dropouts, repeat offenders
We’ll take the weary, weak, the street bartenders
Show ‘em the best times are on the street
Satisfaction through the thrill of defeat,
ain’t it sweet
Once you stop yourself from caring
About owning stuff, that’s when you wanna start sharing
Cuz all the things we want are cheap or free
I define success as not working
and I live like a king
We’ve got no competition
We’ve got no accomplished mission
We just wanna live and let others live
Of course we’ll take anything you wanna give,
so fucking give
Come on, dance like a retard
Life’s an endless party not a punch card
I don’t understand some people’s drive
Let’s just fuck and drink and be alive,
not just survive.
